Cocktail – C loves B, B loves A, Finally: A, B, C make an item number.   1 comment

Homi Adajania (Director): It was always called Cocktail ever since Imtiaz wrote the story. It’s not got anything to do with the booze angle. The name represents the concept of a mix. For me the title Cocktail signifies the mix of ingredients that friends and lovers use the complete each other’s incompleteness.

≥≥: Complete each other’s incompleteness! :D :D Ghanta sala… Chalo, lets at-least get the booze angle of deepika who is ooooooooooOOOOOOOOO! Sultry Hot in Red Bikini ;)
≤≤: Diana Penty is gorgeously cute! Ah only if Penty belonged to faction of the uber-cool extravagant: ‘Penthouse’ :) :)
≥≥: Please God, make our wishes come true. I will not download the mag from piratebay. I swear that I will pay money for it. Please…
≤≤: Btw, Pritam’s music is just fine, but this time I really dunno… where he’s ripped it from. :P
≥≥: ok, let’s check out Cock-tail.
≤≤: Phew! Housefull!?! Look… Eros again!!! And Illuminati films with a Lion logo?! Why lion ?!
≥≥: whoa! Penty a.k.a Meera is equipped with Marriage certificate in London’s heathrow!! Watta opening! (It’s symbolic meaning only to be explained later.)
≤≤:  whenever I recognize Agent Vinod (Gautam), he always reminds me of that Petrol bunk guy (courtesy: Facebook) :P Btw, cheap, sleazy, dim-witted dialogues to make a good impression on pious Meera.
≥≥: Kunal (Randeep Hooda), Meera’s husband refuses to take her home! Although meera’s Soni Kudi.. Namkeen Badi ?!?
≤≤: “Kudi kanwaari ho gayi jhalli .. Nachi jaandi kalli kalli…”phew! Miss Padukone’s insanely hot!! And I want to pee……
≥≥: So, Meera meets Veronica – ‘the rich bitch’, waaw DP+DP,  Chak de phatte, nap de killi.. :)
≤≤: After Booze, drink milk!!  DP1 warning DP2.. “Saanp ko doodh pila rahe ho beta” :P
≥≥: Yet again, Agent Vinod presses on with another hee-haw pickup line “I was just thinking ke aap believe karte hain love at first site main…yaan main dobara ghoom ke aayun” this time its targeted to his cute female manager!! Yappah!
≤≤: The DP gang bumps into Agent Vinod in a restaurant (Obvious) and DP1 shouts “I’m carrying his bun in my oven”!!?!?!
≥≥: Time for a break: Yo! Party sharty song, DP1 and Agent Vinod practicing smooth-as-silk, cock-tail arts : Coochi-Coochi-Coo.
≤≤: Agent Vinod (munching popcorn) to pious Meera “I’m oozing charm”,  “you’re lonely-I’m characterless” :P: D Grosssssss!!
≥≥: Agent Vinod’s Nickname is “Gutlu”his uncle’s (Boman Irani) name is “Tinku” :D (Courtesy: Dimple Kapadia)
≤≤: “Tinku, bulb change kar doTinku, eh karo..woh karo..” Absolutely Hilarious! :D :D
≥≥: Time for a break: to celebrate “awesome threesomeness” song: Chadhi mujhe yaari teri aisi.. Jaise daaru desi..
≤≤: DP1 to DP2 “Tumne is makaan ko ghar banaya hai”… Ayyooooooo… Aiooooo…
≥≥: Blimey! DP2 secures a graphic design job without any proven-talent!?!?!?!
≤≤: Agent Vinod providing entertainment to DP’s via sheila ki jawani!! Really good thinking HA, he fits quite superbly in the approved manner.
≥≥: Incidentally, DK arrives at the scene and is in awe over Agent Vinod’s oozzing Transsexualism.
≤≤: DK scorns at DP1 but likes DP2 and is under an impression that A.Vinod is in relationship with DP2! Who wrote the bloody script!!! Imitaz Ali+Sajid Ali!! Perhaps he is still depressed over the recent kaput of Rockstar.
≥≥: Duh! They set off on a holiday! Over to Capetown.

≤≤: The mundane goofing around, partying exemplified…
≥≥: DK’s Menopause line… Brilliant Acting!
≤≤: Agent Vinod again bores with Shameless Pickup Lines “Postcard shot hain tumhari aankhein” , “Aur tumhari smile, haaye, social service hain tumhari smile” and this one’s a roflol : “itne saare kapre pehnti ho, lekin sochne wala sochega, ke woh kya hain, jo tum chupa rahi ho” hahahahahaaahaaa :D
≥≥: Time for a break again: tumhi ho bandhu.. Blah Blah Blah..
≤≤: DK’s is now fond of DP1: Tu ladki acchi hai..bas dhang ke kapde pehna kar!! Typical!!
≥≥: A.Vinod falls in love with DP2; DP1 now wants to get married to A.Vinod!! – Silly.. Sillier.. Silliest..
≤≤: A.Vinod must be in fact a happy man, 2 DP’s now want to have an awesome threesome but NO!! He foolishly decides to stick with DP2!!
≥≥: DP1 suggests DP2: “He’s great in bed”, “Lets Share him” (A really wise choice) but after few shots gets all too possessive and thups at DP2.
≤≤:  Ultra sensitive DP2 disappears and rejoins with Kunal (Ah! The heart-wrenching sacrifice!!!!!!)
≥≥:  DP1 gets all lovey-dovey and prepares mutton biryani for A.Vinod!! :D :D
≤≤: However, A.Vinod still pursues DP2, therefore DP1 is all Oh dum gutkoon, dum gutkoon, dum gutkoon, dum gootkun, gutkun.. Breaks glasses, drinks heavily and consequently: a speeding gaddi usko tokoh diya!!
≥≥: Tattered, Battered in perennial love for DP1 and DP2, A.Vinod takes refuge on a bench!! :D :D
≤≤: Meanwhile Kunal and DP2 celebrate Indian win over England (Cricket) !!! Ah unbearable foolishness!!
≥≥: DP1 recovers from the fatal accident and sensually advocates A.Vinod to go after DP2!! Whoa… none can do better than Ms.Red!!
≤≤: To know whereabouts of DP2, A.Vinod fights with Kunal!! There had to be at-least one fight scene in the movie… It’s his own production for god’s sake!! :D
≥≥: Kunal reveals DP2’s yearning: “Yeh breakfast aur yeh coffee main sirf Gautam ke saath kar sakti hoon aur yeh kabhi kissi ko pata nahin chalna chahiye!” Yappaahhhhh… Sati Savitri, Please forgive me!!!
≤≤: Final Scene: DP1 and A.Vinod chase DP2 to Delhi and they all execute an item number – Second hand jawani. Yayyyyy!!!!

With a glitzy budget encompassing some of the finest technical talents (Sreekar Prasad, Anil Mehta) Cocktail does not even attempt to distribute any kind of nasha. Accompanied by lack of common sense, the movie exhausts you with the tried and tested clichés that are appallingly horrendous. I would have been more than happy if Ambassador Cars were intentionally made to run over on ‘Awesome Threesome’ (Final Scene: Delhi) for providing loathsome entertainment.



One response to “Cocktail – C loves B, B loves A, Finally: A, B, C make an item number.

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  1. Couldn’t have summarized better. Title says it all :)

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